An Impossible Decision

When I moved to Orlando in July of 2011, it was my third time moving to Florida.

I was happy. I was excited. I was enamored with Disney World. I made friends quickly.I lived in the cutest 2-bedroom apartment.

I got my job back at Walt Disney World.

I adopted the sweetest beagle in the world.

I was going to Disney World on my days off.

Life was so good. I was living the dream that most people envied.

Although this life looked pretty good from the outside, I was very lonely. Going to the Disney parks by yourself can be pretty depressing. I’d watch the moms push their strollers filled with chubby-cheeked babies and the dads carrying their sons on their shoulders to get a better view of the fireworks. I’d watch little girls dressed like princesses see Cinderella Castle for the first time. While it was cute and adorable, I longed for my own family. I wanted to be in these parks making memories with my own family.

Every time I move here, I think it will different from the last. I always think I’m going to find Mr. Right, settle down, and start a real life here in Orlando. I’m always wrong.

Things only got harder this past holiday season. My new apartment was too tiny to fit a Christmas tree. When I would walk Molly around the neighborhood at night, I could see families decorating their own trees and enjoying time together. It was a difficult task every single night.

I, however, did go home at the beginning of December to welcome my new baby niece to the family. Please welcome Violet Elizabeth!

She was born on December 1, 2012, and I made the road trip home as soon as I could. I finally got to meet her on December 5.

I spent four amazing days with my brother’s sweet family, and they let me be a “baby hog”. I couldn’t get enough of her sweet little face.

When it came time to pack up and leave, I held her one more time. I remember just letting it out… “I don’t want to leave”. I cried and cried. Every single mile on the way back to Orlando was heartbreaking. I no longer wanted to be away from my family. I was missing way too much.

I mean, really? When did my nephew grow up so much???

My best friend Ellen had given me the following advice… think about how you feel when you leave Delaware this time. Are you leaving home or going home (to Florida)? In prior years and trips home, I was always excited to head back to Florida. Not this time. It was my time to finally move home and plant my roots where I belong… home.

I realize I was so happy and excited to move to Florida 2 years ago, but a lot has changed. I’ve changed. My family has changed. Violet wasn’t even even on the radar in 2011, so she wasn’t a deciding factor then.

And I realize I normally make fun of Delaware (on the regular), but there are lot of things I miss about that small, brown, drab state. I miss my Y where I spent almost all of my evenings. I miss the running trails. I miss running in cool weather. I miss the races. I miss dinners out with friends to places only Delaware has like Dogfish, Grotto’s, Arena’s, and Stingray.

I miss the beach. Oh, how I miss the beach.

And most of all, I miss the people who make me ME. My family.

And some extra photos of Violet because I can’t resist sharing her beautiful little face!

I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss Disney and my friends here, but it’s time to go.

So during the last week of March, I will be moving back to Delaware. Without one single regret.