Realizations
3 Jan
Have you ever looked back when you were younger and remembered what you thought about yourself and what your goals back then were? I just recently started doing this in terms of dating and relationships, but I looked back today, and I realized that I never, ever would have imagined myself as a runner. I consider myself an “athlete” now. I’m running 6 miles with no problems… no aches, no pains, no throwing up. Well, at least not yet. But even when I was on the cross country team in high school, I just never considered myself an athlete.
I went in to Rehoboth Beach Running Company for the first time today to stock up on Gu and to browse the shop, and before I even stepped foot inside, I saw the associate’s car outside. She had a 140.1 (I think that’s the right number) sticker on her car. I immediately started feeling intimidated. I thought to myself “this woman is going to think I’m some chubby non-runner”. But when I got to the glass door of the store, I saw my reflection staring back at me. I’m not chubby anymore. I’m a runner. I deserve to walk into this store. I’ve earned it. As I was talking to the associate, I felt like I was talking to a fellow runner. I didn’t feel like she was judging me. I could honestly tell her I was running 6-7 miles at a time, and I knew she believed me. I don’t know why I thought she wouldn’t believe me. I guess I’m still in the mindset I used to have- feeling like the fat girl on the trail… the fat girl that the real runners would glance over at and feel sorry for.
But I did hesitate when I saw the “Runner Girl” car magnets. Should I buy one and have people judge me? Would they see me get out of my Jeep and think to themselves that I must not be a real runner? I bought it anyways, and as soon as I clean the dirt off my truck, it’s going on there proudly. And once the store gets some “13.1″ car magnets in stock, I’m buying one to go on the Jeep when I complete the half.
I’ll definitely be going back to the store soon! They videotape you running on a treadmill and then fit you for the right shoe, which I desperately need to do prior to the race. And they also have some shirts with cool phrases like “13.1- I don’t go all the way”. Hehehe 
